Dealing With Doldrums

I read last night a blog post from a mom who was struggling to stay...positive? Motivated? Hard-working? Call it what you will. I include the link here if you would like to read it (I recommend it, it's such a great article!): http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2013/04/02/stuck-in-the-doldrums-an-attack-plan#.UVswWFEFNPE.facebook

That is all simply from the perspective of a mom. I know moms have it worse than us teenagers. They've got to balance their lives in addition to ours! But still, that doesn't change the fact that yes, we still have these "doldrums" as well! I know I do.  So I've decided to do my very own blog post and list to try and get myself out of this little "rut" and hopefully help YOU too. And what better season to do it than now too! We are making the transition from the yucky Michigan winter into a more reasonable (but still somewhat muddy and sometimes miserable) spring. It's the time to get the buckets and bleach and sponges out to do some real spring cleaning!!

For the past few years I've been noticing something. Every year at the same time I go blue. Horribly miserable...mopey and grumpy. Irritable to the point of exasperation. I am impossible to get along with, I whine and complain and gripe about everything and anything, I refuse to see any good in the world, and I would rather hide away in a shell (or, well, my blankets) than see a single soul on this earth. Within the past year, my newest doctor told me even before I told him any of this that I had official winter blues. Winter depression. An allergy to the season of coldness.

Well, I could have told you that! Though I didn't spend much time in California, I still love to claim my birthplace as part of the blood that runs through my veins. I love warmth, okay? Who wouldn't? I love the heat and the stickiness...the sunshine and lovely cheeriness of summer. It is just a joyous season. Then we have winter...and not just any winter...but a Michigan winter. You know the one...it drags on and on for months without end. It gives you hope a few times in the middle and you think it might be over...but then it kicks back in even worse than before. Mud and slush and wet and cold and then icy and snowy and rainy and YUCK. I hate it even before it arrives.

This year, it did kick in a little late. But it's here now. It's here one day, and gone the next...kicks in for a week and disappears for a day or two. But on those bad days...I tell you I don't even want to see anyone alive. I don't want to get out of bed. Everything disinterests me and nothing can rouse my attention long enough for me to think one positive thought. It just refuses to happen. And a lot of the time I'm too tired to shake myself to reality and say, "Sarah, you are crazy and depressed and you need to overcome this because you are better than all of this!!"

When people say the word "depressed", normally they are not taken seriously. Depressed, like so many other words these days, is used so often by so many people that it lacks a certain seriousness. People are like, "Oh, I'm depressed". Or "I need anti-depressants to help me out of this depression." We see the word being used over and over...so it's hard to be able to use it now. Doldrums work pretty great...funk...mopes...grumpations. It all is summarized...you don't want to do a single thing and all you are is a bundle of negativity. We're human so we can't limit it to moms...it applies to teens, men, women...you got it. Well, maybe not so much kids, they kind of have the best life ever. But once you really have to start having a life, well these moods kick in hard.

You are not alone. You're just not. But at the same time, you WILL be alone if everyone gets their butt into motion while you choose to wallow in self-pity! I do that...by the way...I lack serious motivation so given the choice to do the dishes or sit around and think of all the things going wrong in my life...well, it's not the last one I'd pick. But really there ARE ways to get out of the slump! But it comes with a choice. I can decide that there is nothing that can help...and at that point I'm right! There is nothing! But it's once I make the choice to improve myself and my life (and in return those around me) then it's that point where I can begin to make a difference. It is a difference that comes from within and so cannot be conjured up by anyone else. YOU MUST CHOOSE.

So first...make that list...make a list of everything you need to get done or are behind on. It needs to be a full detailed list. You can't let yourself slip up or neglect to mention anything. This is the part where you are going to feel like a disgusting person. You will probably hate yourself. But this is the first step and it needs to get done. Take your time on this list...make sure you've got everything. My case is that I forget stuff and then by the time I remember...well, my list is "full", right?? Make sure you get everything and don't be afraid to add to the list! You do want progress, don't you?!

Reward yourself. I have to say this is my favorite step. Who doesn't like rewards? I treat myself (and probably too often). When I get so many jobs or tasks done then I will do something nice for myself. This could include a little break to read a book too long put off...it could involve spoiling myself with a new outfit or a favorite food. Really anything you truly enjoy but don't get enough of. This will encourage you towards actually *finishing* your list of tasks!

Remind yourself of why you are doing all of this. It's easy to get started, but harder to finish. If you know why you are doing it then it will make finishing an easier chore. You will have a happier family, a smoother and more peaceful lifestyle, you will feel confident and happy, your living area will be cleaner and much more organized, you will get along better with others, your health will improve...it will all change but you need to keep that goal in front of you. Tell yourself what it is often.

Allow yourself a "bad day" every now and then. Everyone has them, I promise you're not the only one. It will be impossible for you to take on this mission without having a "fail day" here and there. Anticipate it. Don't hope or wait for it...but expect it. Know it will happen...embrace it when it does. It will pass as it always has. Tomorrow is a new day, a new chance. Don't beat yourself up when a day goes horribly wrong and not anything like what you had hoped or planned for. If you ever have day after day of perfection...please let me know so I can report your insanity.

Have some habits. I am a very non-habit person. I never have the same day twice...I don't have a "normal morning", "normal afternoon", or "normal night". It doesn't happen. I go with the flow and do whatever happens to come my way. But you need to have more stability than that! Have a time you get up in the mornings, have a routine...make sure to spend daily and quality (emphasis there) time in the Word...try to stick to a food schedule...either make it a habit to always or never have breakfast. Some people do, some don't. Make it a habit to exercise. Make it a habit to breath deep. Make it a habit to try and read when you're stuck somewhere.

Get OUT. If not outside during this nasty cold weather then make a point to take vitamin D supplements and you just so something indoors. I recently picked up yoga and I'm feeling benefits already. There are so many options that don't involved outside at all. Make sure you get your water each day...water is SO amazingly important to our bodies as well as decent food. Sleep is another one...just try getting the right amount of sleep, the correct amount of water, good food, and exercise in for a week and tell me you don't feel better!

So there you go. Some quick and easy ways to get out of your "slough of Despond" and out into some light. I can't promise it will help 100% because everyone needs their own method and rules, but hopefully this helped you get kicked into action. You will really reap benefits if you make that first decision to get a move on life and that choice to be better that the pit of doldrums and depression. I'm praying for you, dear readers, because I know what it really is like to be there. I'm fighting it even now. There is always a way out and always a solution that leads to a better tomorrow. Because tomorrow is a new day, a new chance, a new opportunity to do it better and live better.