To Text Or Not To Text...THAT Is The Question

Maybe this will come across as harsh. Good. I mean it to be jarring and forceful. Too often people brush off this message as old news that doesn't apply to them. Trust me, it applies to everyone with a phone and a brain...but especially to those with a phone but without a brain. 

Studies have shown texting is more impairing than driving drunk. Driving Under the Influence is illegal. We know that and we know not to do that. But we think texting while driving is just fine. Texting is considered normal and harmless. We never assume that a texting accident could happen to us. 

Texting while driving is one of the most selfish things you can do. Not only are you putting your own life at danger, but you also endanger the lives of those you might hit. You are disrespecting the image of God by disrespecting His creation made in His very own image.

Another aspect of being selfish while driving...imagine if you were the person texting the person who crashed and died. The guilt over knowing it was your text that ended their life is not a guilt easily gotten over or brushed aside. It is selfish of any person driving and texting to possibly force that kind of guilt on someone just for innocently texting you...they probably didn't even know that you were TWD (Texting While Driving). If you are texting someone and you know they are driving, don't risk it...just don't text them or ask them to let you know when they are at their destination.

All in all, the greatest problem wrong with TWD is the disrespect you show to God's image with yourself and others who may be involved. God made your life particular and when you put yourself in danger, especially in great harm like that on purpose, then you are essentially breaking God's commandment of "thou shalt not murder" by putting yourself in purposeful harm when you know that it could mean life and death to yourself and others. 

We brush off this message because we never think it will happen to us. Do you think that those who die in accidents ever thought it would happen to them? We think we are invincible and untouchable until it happens to us, and then it's too late.

Here is a great video if you want to hear more of a Christian's perspective on TWD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=s3Sbvhc--sE

Are You Guilty? Or Grateful?

Christ took our guilt. Our guilt is removed from us and any remaining guilt is of the devil. A life of guilt cannot be led by a true Christian. Your moves cannot be dictated by the grip of fear and guilt over your sin...past or current. Guilt will shape and form any person, but especially a Christian to lead an unhealthy life that does not display God as we are called to do. Instead it will portray fear and self-pity and a depression that is unattractive and repelling. Our actions are not supposed to be some desperate attempt to gain reconciliation with God because we feel over-ridden with guilt. Instead, we are to understand that we have no guilt or past history left over because of Christ's work on earth and on the cross. Out of that knowledge and reality we are to live as Christians. We cannot commit our actions, thoughts, and daily deeds to somehow make up for our sin...we can never fulfill that or hope to achieve enough "goodness" to cover our disobedience to His Law. We seek to obey and follow His Law now not to earn our way to heaven or make up for how much we sin, but because we are so thankful for the penalty and punishment being paid for us because of His mercy and grace, not anything of ourselves, that we strive to please our Father in any way we possibly can. Our actions and works are to be 100% of gratitude for His sacrifice, not guilt over our own sin. 

It Matters Whom You Marry

(Note: I did get this from another blog...the original link is here: http://thechristianpundit.org/2012/08/15/it/)

"My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind. She is in for some grief if that relationship continues and especially if it leads to marriage.

So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters. You might think that the way he treats you isn’t so bad. It’s not going to get better after the wedding. You might think that he’ll change. It’s possible, but most don’t. You might think that you’ll be able to minister to him and help him. Possibly, but if you can’t now, you won’t then, and you will be at risk yourself. A husband should lead and cherish you, not need your counsel for basic personality or behavior issues.

Unless someone married is very frank with you, you can’t understand how much a husband will impact your entire life. Next to salvation there is no other long term event that will change so many areas of your life so deeply. Here are just some of the ways that marriage will impact every aspect of living.

1. It will impact you spiritually. If the guy is not a believer, you can stop right there. You have no business yoking a redeemed soul with an unregenerate one, even if he seems open to change. Christ has bought you with a price and it is not an option to give away that blood bought heart to someone who doesn’t know and love your Lord. It will cripple your spiritual development, open up a host of temptations, stifle your prayer life, make regular church going difficult, and cause massive parenting conflict if you have children.

If the guy is a believer, is he a strong one? Will he lead you in prayer, Bible reading, family devotions, and public worship? Or will you be on your own? Is he going to make spiritual growth a priority or do other things come first? Is he going to ask you how it’s going with your soul so he can help you grow in holiness and love for Christ, or will he leave that to your pastor? Is he going to lead the children in this, or will you have to spearhead that? In church, is he going to help the kids sit well, pray, find the hymn, or will you be the one pointing out what is happening next and helping the family keep up? Many women have married spiritually immature men, thinking that it wasn’t a big issue, or that the man would change, and they were wrong. They bear the scars.

The health of your eternity is at stake. Think carefully.

2. It will impact you emotionally. Is the guy you’re thinking of going to encourage you, love you, be kind to you, and seek to understand you, or will he want to go out with the guys when you’re having a hard night? Will he listen when you are struggling with something or will he be preoccupied with a video game? Is he going to be annoyed when you cry or will he get you Kleenex and give you a hug? Is he going to going to understand that you are probably more tender than he is, more sensitive to issues and comments, or is he regularly going to run rough shod over your feelings? One woman was struggling to breastfeed her new baby, believing that that was the best thing for her, but it was very difficult. Instead of giving support and encouragement, the husband would make mooing sounds whenever he saw his wife working at it. We have to get rid of princess complexes, but we do have emotional needs. Any guy who is uncaring about your feelings and self esteem is selfish and should be left alone.

Be careful – a husband can cripple or foster emotional health.

3. It will impact you physically. Is the guy you’re with going to provide for your basic needs? Will he be able to shelter, clothe and feed you? At one point in our marriage, I was worried that there was no employment opportunity. My husband assured me that he would work at McDonalds, dig ditches, clean up roadkill – whatever it took to provide for the family, regardless of his gifts and training. That’s the kind of attitude you want. A man who doesn’t provide for his household is worse than an infidel (I Tim. 5:8). You might have to help ease the financial burden, but unless your husband is disabled or there is another unusual circumstance, you shouldn’t have to carry it yourself.

Will the man you are with care for your body or abuse it? If he gives you little smacks, kicks, etc. when you’re dating, get away. It’s almost guaranteed that he will abuse you after marriage, and stats show that’s especially true when you are pregnant. Is he going to care for and protect your body or will he hurt it? There are women in churches across America who thought it was no big deal to have little (sort of friendly) punches or slaps from their boyfriends, but who are covering up the bruises from their husbands.

Will the man you are with care for you sexually? Is he going to honour the marriage bed in physical and mental faithfulness to you or will he flirt, feed his porn addiction, or even leave you for another woman? You can’t always predict these issues, but if the seeds or practices are already there, watch out. I recently saw a newly married couple and the husband was flirting openly with another woman. Unless something drastic happens, that marriage is headed for disaster.

Is he going to be tender and gentle to you in bed? An unbelieving co-worker once told my sister that after her first sexual encounter, she had trouble walking for a few days because her boyfriend was so rough. In other words, he wasn’t selfless enough to care for the body of the woman he said he loved.

Watch out. Your body needs care and protection.

4. It will impact you mentally. Is the man that you’re thinking of going to be a source of worry or will he help you deal with your worries? Is he going to encourage your intellectual development, or will he neglect it? Is he going to value your opinions and listen to what you are thinking, or will he disregard your thoughts? Is he going to help you manage stress so that your mind is not burdened that way, or is he going to let you struggle through issues alone? Is he going to care for you and be thoughtful of you if you are experiencing mental strain, or will he ignore it? I know of a woman who could handle pregnancy and child birth very well physically but postpartum depression took a huge toll on her mind. The husband overlooked it, continuing to have more children, until his wife ended up in a mental institution.

You might think that the intellectual or mental side of a marriage is small. It’s bigger than you think. Consider it seriously.

5. It will impact you relationally. How’s your relationship with your mother? Your dad? Do you love them? Does your boyfriend? Fast forward ten years: you tell your husband that your mother is coming for the weekend. Is he excited? Disappointed? Angry? Making snide jokes with his friends? Of course, a husband should come first in your priority of relationships, as you both leave father and mother and cleave to one another. But parents are still a big part of the picture. Whatever negative feelings he has about your parents now will probably be amplified after marriage. Your marriage will either strengthen or damage – even destroy – your relationship with your parents. The people who know you best and love you most right now could be cut out of the picture by a husband who hates them.

It’s the same with sisters and friends. Will they be welcomed, at reasonable times, in your home? Will the guy who you’re with encourage healthy relationships with other women, or will he be jealous of normal, biblical friendships? Will he help you mentor younger women and be thankful when older women mentor you, or will he belittle that?

Don’t sacrifice many good relationships for the sake of one guy who can’t value the people who love you.

So how will your boyfriend do after the vows? Because this is just a sampling of the ways that a husband can bless or curse his wife. The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. True, there are no perfect men out there. But there are great ones. And it’s better to be single for life than to marry someone who will make your life a burden. Singleness can be great. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare. I've been in a church parking lot where the pastor had to call the police to protect a wife from a husband who was trying to stop her from worshiping and being with her family. It’s ugly. Don’t be so desperate to get married that your marriage is a grief. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you’re not married, don’t put yourself in that situation. Don’t marry someone whose leadership you can’t follow. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love you as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ."

The Question is Death. What is Your Answer?

1 Peter 2:9 says, "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light". 

You are different. Different is not bad though, readers. You are called to a higher calling. A deeper meaning and purpose behind life. Recently there was a death of a young girl in our community. I didn't know her too well...but she was young, my age. It was very sudden and very unexpected. For two days after I had heard about it I was just completely stunned. In the normal day we are equipped with the answers...the reasons why there is such a thing as sin and death and how all must perish in this life and how they go to a better life. 

But with any death...close to you or far away...all the answers fade away. Nothing makes sense and all logic and reasoning gets fuzzy and blurry. It doesn't make sense. For two whole days it was like this for me. This is a crossroads for anyone. Anyone who has death close or far knows what this feels like. You either go towards the light or you curse the light and turn towards the darkness. 

For two days I searched for an answer. I know that death is called for every man. I know we don't have a choice. I know death is necessary because of our disobedience to God. I know that going to heaven is the better option because you are out of the clutches of this sinful world. I know that we should rejoice that they are finally happy forever.

But my question that had no answer was this: "Why death early?" 

Why do we have to "check out" early? Why can't we just live a full life of glorifying God and then go to be with Him? Why must the young die? Why must we die unexpectedly? 

Maybe you have an easy answer for it, one you are satisfied with. But because my head and thoughts were clouded I could not think of anything. I prayed for answers and tried to ask others for answers...but hey, turns out no one wants to think about life and death and what it all means. Understandable, I guess. One person said that death is the unknown...that is why people fear it. No one knows what it really is or is like. So we fear it for that reason.

I don't fear it...I just have so many questions about it. I want to know about it...how it works and WHY it works the way it does. 

But after two days of searching, asking, praying...I was listening to a song (Red - Not Alone) and it just...it was like lightening. It was so simple that I wanted to bang my head on the wall from the silliness of not seeing it sooner. But...God does have His ways of learning and I am a bit of a slow learner. 

Short lives are meaningful...more meaningful. That's NOT to say that if you die older you have no meaning or little meaning in your life. But when there is an unexpected death or a young death then doesn't it make you stop and think a lot more than a natural death of an older person would? It also makes you appreciate life a lot more. 

It helps you live that meaningful life that we as Christians are called to live. We are that set apart people...the chosen people. Shouldn't our lives reflect that? A young death reminds you that you may not have all your life to live. This family didn't think that saying goodnight would be the last thing she would ever hear on this earth. She didn't know that everything she did that day would be the last time she did any of that. 

What if you were to think like that? What if every conversation you ended you spoke to the person how you would like them to remember you if you died? What if the things you did in your day reflected what you would do on your last day on earth? What would you do? What would you say? 

Death is inevitable. That is a little depressing. But it's NOT. It is a fact and we cannot keep pushing it aside and avoiding it. Death is not some dark fearful thing to be afraid of simply because it is the unknown. It doesn't have to be the unknown. Look for the answers. They may be different than mine. But until you find your own answers you will be fearful of death. You will avoid the topic. You will deny that it is inevitable to you. And you will not be living that life that is exemplary and mindful of God's purpose in your life. 

Do you have answers?

Are You YOU? Or Someone Else?

As I prepared to write this I knew I had something to say...but what was it? I sat down...mindful and open to any ideas. Over the years of blogging I've found that it's easiest to write when I just talk...and just be me. Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is to be YOU. Really truly yourself. You're afraid of criticism. But as cruel as this is going to sound...who cares? Everyone will be beaten down and hated by at least ONE person in this world. During the years I've studied history and the great men and women of the past, it is often the very best of them that were the most hated and despised of their times. That being said...if you have the chance (which really everyone does)...be yourself. Deceiving others to be something you're not isn't very beneficial for them or even yourself. They strike up relationships and friendships with something they think you are, when you're not. That being said...I find it easiest to relate to you, my faithful readers, when I am myself and when I talk about the real hard stuff of life...the nitty gritty...the ugly truth...the unpleasant details of life...the dark side of the moon.

For my more shy readers...this one is for you. How do you go out boldly? How do you "conquer" the world? How do you break out of your bubble? This is something I've been dealing with lately. For those of you who do know me...you would say I'm anything BUT shy. I tend to be outspoken and bright and bold and colorful (not in language...in dress and manner). But...I have a confession to make! I'm kind of bi-polar. Not...weirdly medically so. But I have two people in me. To some extent I would say everyone does. Not every energetic person is always that way and every shy person has a lion hidden inside of them. There is one side of me...the one most of you know...I am crazy and silly and I wear rainbow stripes and neon polka dots together just for the fun of it. I'm the drama queen of the crowd and others flock around me like I am a butterfly. And then there is the other side of me...the quiet, shy, hide-me-in-a-corner-and-please-don't-look-at-met, submissive, self-conscious little me. So now...how on earth do I balance and find a good mix?? Which is the real me? Which is the *right* me??

The answer is: YES! If you are reading this and thinking, "Hm, yup...yup, been there done that, and I can relate" then I'm talking to you when I say...God made you YOU...that's very clique...forgive me. But there isn't a more simpler way to say it. Do you think you came out a mistake? A defect in God's creation? He made you perfect. A sinner, yes, but your personality is not sinful unless it goes against God's Word. So unless your character is one against His Law then you're fine! Bold and bright...quiet and shy...it's beautiful. YOU are beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful. Don't fight against your personality or your character or your ...bi-polarness. One of the hardest things lately for me to do is just sit back and let myself be controlled by my self-consciousness.

It's been growing inside of me and every time bad happens it feels the seed of ungratefulness within me. I sit up nights and literally cannot sleep because I worry about what people must think about me. When I see people laughing I think they are laughing at me. When I see them whispering they must be gossiping about me! If my boss doesn't say anything to me after work I think that they must be displeased with how I did my job and that I'll get fired. If my dad says he has to tell my mother something later on I automatically worry it's something wrong I've done even though I've done nothing wrong! Sometimes when I'm out with people I actually have borderline anxiety attacks because I'm just so worried about what they must be thinking about me.

Now...this is chaotic. This is majorly stressful! It's ungodly! It's just...wrong. It's crazy and it's the very opposite of peaceful. You know the peace I'm talking about? The peace that passes all understanding? Yeah, that one. Every so often I find myself just walking away from God in my heart and mind. Trusting more on men and their opinion then I do my Heavenly Father's opinion. And let me tell you...He has a MUCH more relaxed standard than any man on earth. He isn't a harsh critic unless you stray from His Law. He loves his children and loves to bless them. But YOU...you yourself are blessed with your personality from Him. If you hate it and want it to change...that is possible! See for me...when I get all withdrawn, that's when I fight it. I know there are some good things about being quieter so I try to apply those even when I want to be my usual bright and bold self. I need to stop worrying about others opinions so much and focus on God's opinion of me.

If you can take simple steps to bettering yourself and communicating with God more then you will feel that peace. Not chaos or craziness at fighting yourself. But a peace in knowing that with Christ's sacrifice you are perfect. You are lovely. You are spotless of any fault or defect. Once you have this peace about yourself it is easier to take small steps toward looking at your character and seeing how you can improve. There is always room for improvement. Self-criticism is harsh though...so take it easy on yourself. Right now, my goals include being able to speak my mind more openly, going to God FIRST and not after friends, and being more concerned with God and not the matters of life. Simply put...I'm trying to make my life *meaningful*.

Is your life meaningful? Does it have purpose? Do you know what you are living for and why?

Romans 5 - Encouragement of the Day

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned—

To be sure, sin was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not charged against anyone’s account where there is no law. Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who is a pattern of the one to come.

But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man,how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! Nor can the gift of God be compared with the result of one man’s sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!

Consequently, just as one trespass resulted in condemnation for all people, so also one righteous act resulted in justification and life for all people. For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Christ - Our Atonement

"What Christ gave as an atonement was himself, namely his person; not his body without his soul, nor his soul without his body, nor his human nature without his divine nature, but he offered up his person. *His divine nature did not suffer, but it sustained and added virtue to the suffering of his human nature.* He was treated as the chiefest of sinners; the Father hid His face from Him; He suffered the extreme of man's rage; he suffered his people's hell; yea, he drank it to its dregs; he answered all the claims of the law, to the extreme of its demands; he was found to be as the covering of the Ark, the same width, the same length.

In light of this atonement I see the evil of sin and the severity of the law: all the perfections of God shining to the greatest degree: the greatest love and the bittersweet sufferings; with all appropriateness, he could say, "What sorrow is like unto my sorrow?" He drank the cup of millions. Here I see a fountain to wash the unclean, an example for every Christian of how he should behave in the midst of his greatest grief that should befall him in this world. Here I see the devil with his head bruised and his work being destroyed: and eternal justice being ushered in. Christ provided an atonement for our sin while in a triple relationship with us: 1) As being our surety. 2) As being our family. 3) As being married to us. Except for this relationship in triplicate Christ would profit us nothing. Those objects for whom Christ died are those who have gone to glory, and those who will go to him."

Daniel Evans
19th century Welsh Reformed Pastor
Little Children Saved - An Essay On The Salvation Of Babes

John Calvin Quote

"Thus we see that fear, which awakens faith, is not in itself faulty till it goes beyond bounds... Its excess lies in disturbing or weakening the composure of faith, which ought to rest on the word of God. But as it never happens that believers exercise such restraint on themselves as to keep their faith from being injured, their fear is almost always attended by sin. Yet we ought to be aware that it is not every kind of fear which indicates a want of faith, but only that dread which disturbs the peace of the conscience in such a manner that it does not rest on the promise of God." -John Calvin

Lost And Lost Trust

This is not a motivational post.
This is not a happy post.
This is not even an encouraging post.

It's an "I'm lost" post.

I'm lost because I don't know what to do with my life.
I don't know where it's all going. Like, I know deep down, but not here right now.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Trust.

It's such a simple word. With it though, comes infinite meaning.
With one sentence...one moment...trust can be shattered.
Is it like they say?
Trust once lost can never be regained.
A word once spoken can never be taken back.
A deed once done can never be made up.

Is it like the mug that broke?
Even though it's glued back together there are cracks and chips.
It's never whole again.
It can never function truly as well as before.

Once you are hurt...can you love again?
Can you trust again?
Can you ever be whole and the same again?

I have learned what trust broken means.

I've been on both sides of the fence.
I've broken trust.
I've been broken of trust.

The people who I hurt have forgiven me and we are just as we were before.
Those who hurt me...I tried to forgive them.
But I don't know how.
How do you know you have officially forgiven and moved on?
Is there a sign?
A lightening bolt?

And even when you move on...can you 100% trust anyone?

Right now I don't.
I can't.
I've tried, believe me I've tried so hard.
But each time...give it two weeks and I'm back where I am before.
Hurt and hurting and lost and mistrustful.
Again.

How do I change it?
I thought I picked people who were stable and good.
But each one turns out worse than before.
One of these times I will never venture out to trust again.
Why do we do it?
Why do we as humans repeatedly do things that will hurt?
Why do we trust when we know all humans can fail and harm us.
Can shatter our self-esteem.

At the end of the day the pain isn't worth it.
The venturing out.
The trusting of someone new.
The hope that this time it will be different.
The hurt that comes after is not worth it.
How many times do we go out before we crack and can't even move?

So what do we do?
That's where the lost feeling comes in.
Yes, I know, I've heard it before...go to God.
Let it go.
Trust Him.
Let Him work it for His glory.
It will all be okay tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Read Scripture.
Pray

I've heard it all.
And it works...but it is temporary.
God has placed us on the earth with a craving for companionship.
Human companionship.
Someone there physically to help you and love you and for you to trust.
So what happens when you don't get that?
You feel fulfilled in Him but lost on earth.

Where do you go after that?
When you've prayed and tried so hard to do all you can do by giving it to God.
What do you next?
Where do you go?
What do you say?

You're lost.
Stuck in the ever looming vacuum spinning around and around.

So like I said.
It's not a happy post.
No encouragement.
Maybe this is for the purpose that you can relate.
Or know that I can relate to you.
Or know that I'm just a human.
A human whose self-esteem really sucks right now.
A human who cannot trust anyone right now.
A human who is lost on this earth and doesn't know what to do.
A human who is trying her best to let God have His way.
But the human fails.

Dealing With Doldrums

I read last night a blog post from a mom who was struggling to stay...positive? Motivated? Hard-working? Call it what you will. I include the link here if you would like to read it (I recommend it, it's such a great article!): http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2013/04/02/stuck-in-the-doldrums-an-attack-plan#.UVswWFEFNPE.facebook

That is all simply from the perspective of a mom. I know moms have it worse than us teenagers. They've got to balance their lives in addition to ours! But still, that doesn't change the fact that yes, we still have these "doldrums" as well! I know I do.  So I've decided to do my very own blog post and list to try and get myself out of this little "rut" and hopefully help YOU too. And what better season to do it than now too! We are making the transition from the yucky Michigan winter into a more reasonable (but still somewhat muddy and sometimes miserable) spring. It's the time to get the buckets and bleach and sponges out to do some real spring cleaning!!

For the past few years I've been noticing something. Every year at the same time I go blue. Horribly miserable...mopey and grumpy. Irritable to the point of exasperation. I am impossible to get along with, I whine and complain and gripe about everything and anything, I refuse to see any good in the world, and I would rather hide away in a shell (or, well, my blankets) than see a single soul on this earth. Within the past year, my newest doctor told me even before I told him any of this that I had official winter blues. Winter depression. An allergy to the season of coldness.

Well, I could have told you that! Though I didn't spend much time in California, I still love to claim my birthplace as part of the blood that runs through my veins. I love warmth, okay? Who wouldn't? I love the heat and the stickiness...the sunshine and lovely cheeriness of summer. It is just a joyous season. Then we have winter...and not just any winter...but a Michigan winter. You know the one...it drags on and on for months without end. It gives you hope a few times in the middle and you think it might be over...but then it kicks back in even worse than before. Mud and slush and wet and cold and then icy and snowy and rainy and YUCK. I hate it even before it arrives.

This year, it did kick in a little late. But it's here now. It's here one day, and gone the next...kicks in for a week and disappears for a day or two. But on those bad days...I tell you I don't even want to see anyone alive. I don't want to get out of bed. Everything disinterests me and nothing can rouse my attention long enough for me to think one positive thought. It just refuses to happen. And a lot of the time I'm too tired to shake myself to reality and say, "Sarah, you are crazy and depressed and you need to overcome this because you are better than all of this!!"

When people say the word "depressed", normally they are not taken seriously. Depressed, like so many other words these days, is used so often by so many people that it lacks a certain seriousness. People are like, "Oh, I'm depressed". Or "I need anti-depressants to help me out of this depression." We see the word being used over and over...so it's hard to be able to use it now. Doldrums work pretty great...funk...mopes...grumpations. It all is summarized...you don't want to do a single thing and all you are is a bundle of negativity. We're human so we can't limit it to moms...it applies to teens, men, women...you got it. Well, maybe not so much kids, they kind of have the best life ever. But once you really have to start having a life, well these moods kick in hard.

You are not alone. You're just not. But at the same time, you WILL be alone if everyone gets their butt into motion while you choose to wallow in self-pity! I do that...by the way...I lack serious motivation so given the choice to do the dishes or sit around and think of all the things going wrong in my life...well, it's not the last one I'd pick. But really there ARE ways to get out of the slump! But it comes with a choice. I can decide that there is nothing that can help...and at that point I'm right! There is nothing! But it's once I make the choice to improve myself and my life (and in return those around me) then it's that point where I can begin to make a difference. It is a difference that comes from within and so cannot be conjured up by anyone else. YOU MUST CHOOSE.

So first...make that list...make a list of everything you need to get done or are behind on. It needs to be a full detailed list. You can't let yourself slip up or neglect to mention anything. This is the part where you are going to feel like a disgusting person. You will probably hate yourself. But this is the first step and it needs to get done. Take your time on this list...make sure you've got everything. My case is that I forget stuff and then by the time I remember...well, my list is "full", right?? Make sure you get everything and don't be afraid to add to the list! You do want progress, don't you?!

Reward yourself. I have to say this is my favorite step. Who doesn't like rewards? I treat myself (and probably too often). When I get so many jobs or tasks done then I will do something nice for myself. This could include a little break to read a book too long put off...it could involve spoiling myself with a new outfit or a favorite food. Really anything you truly enjoy but don't get enough of. This will encourage you towards actually *finishing* your list of tasks!

Remind yourself of why you are doing all of this. It's easy to get started, but harder to finish. If you know why you are doing it then it will make finishing an easier chore. You will have a happier family, a smoother and more peaceful lifestyle, you will feel confident and happy, your living area will be cleaner and much more organized, you will get along better with others, your health will improve...it will all change but you need to keep that goal in front of you. Tell yourself what it is often.

Allow yourself a "bad day" every now and then. Everyone has them, I promise you're not the only one. It will be impossible for you to take on this mission without having a "fail day" here and there. Anticipate it. Don't hope or wait for it...but expect it. Know it will happen...embrace it when it does. It will pass as it always has. Tomorrow is a new day, a new chance. Don't beat yourself up when a day goes horribly wrong and not anything like what you had hoped or planned for. If you ever have day after day of perfection...please let me know so I can report your insanity.

Have some habits. I am a very non-habit person. I never have the same day twice...I don't have a "normal morning", "normal afternoon", or "normal night". It doesn't happen. I go with the flow and do whatever happens to come my way. But you need to have more stability than that! Have a time you get up in the mornings, have a routine...make sure to spend daily and quality (emphasis there) time in the Word...try to stick to a food schedule...either make it a habit to always or never have breakfast. Some people do, some don't. Make it a habit to exercise. Make it a habit to breath deep. Make it a habit to try and read when you're stuck somewhere.

Get OUT. If not outside during this nasty cold weather then make a point to take vitamin D supplements and you just so something indoors. I recently picked up yoga and I'm feeling benefits already. There are so many options that don't involved outside at all. Make sure you get your water each day...water is SO amazingly important to our bodies as well as decent food. Sleep is another one...just try getting the right amount of sleep, the correct amount of water, good food, and exercise in for a week and tell me you don't feel better!

So there you go. Some quick and easy ways to get out of your "slough of Despond" and out into some light. I can't promise it will help 100% because everyone needs their own method and rules, but hopefully this helped you get kicked into action. You will really reap benefits if you make that first decision to get a move on life and that choice to be better that the pit of doldrums and depression. I'm praying for you, dear readers, because I know what it really is like to be there. I'm fighting it even now. There is always a way out and always a solution that leads to a better tomorrow. Because tomorrow is a new day, a new chance, a new opportunity to do it better and live better.

New Crazy Peas Quotes - Part 8

"I put my coat together with a zipper." - Peas

"This is how you do it. Walk with a puppy. Walk with a puppy. Walk with me!" - Peas

"High five!" - Me

"Ha! I missed." Ally

"I drank it all gone, now I want more." - Peas

"I don't want to give you more tea, so drink up!" Ally 

"I'll give you a smile because you're smiling so hard." Ashley

"Are you going to be a cook when you grow up?" - Me

"Yup, I'm gonna be a cooker." - Peas

"And when I grow up I'm going to grow up like your sister." - Peas

"But not grow up like me?" - Me

"No, not like you." - Peas

"Do you like waffles?" - Me

"Mh, no. I don't like waffles. Well, I like a little bit of waffles." - Peas

"Guess how old I am." - Me

"Seven?" - Ashley

"Eight?" - Peas

"Ten?" - Ally

"I'm going to count to 30! One, two, three, thirty! Here I come!" - Ashley

"Twenty-eight, twenty-niiiiiiine hundred! Done!" - Peas

"Twenty three nine thirty!" Peas

"Can I drink the baby?" - Peas

"I don't want to carry her." - Peas

"Let's go see grandma. No, I am the grandma." - Peas

"Lay down, honey. Lay down!" - Peas

"She's gonna pick that grandma up!" - Peas

The Bonds of Friendship

I am learning more and more how great God really is. 

I would rather be "alone" with Him than be with any friend. 

I would rather pray with Him than text any person. 

Time spent in Scripture is more captivating than any movie. 

He is always faithful, always kind. 

He always has time to talk, never brushes you off. 

He never replaces you, never ignores you. 

He never criticizes or demeans you. 

He is the greatest forgiver. 

He loves *without end*. 

He never puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself. 

He is the meaning and the standard of a true friend. 

You can do no better than with Him. 

No friend can amount or come close. 

Any lost friendship should mean nothing because you have a true friend who will never leave you for anything or anyone. 

With Him you are NEVER alone. 

Joshua 1:9 "I am with you wherever you go". 

Wherever you go...you are not alone.