Of Spiders and Being Hurt/Open

Okay, I absolutely have to relate this freaky spider story to you...just because it's so frightening to me and everyone deserves a good chilling spider story every once in a while! So I'm laying in bed the other night and I was getting ready to sleep, but I was still awake with my computer on my lap and the lights out. I had my blankets pulled up the top of my computer screen and the screen light was the only light around me. I was just minding my own business when suddenly...all I could focus on was this dark image coming down over my computer screen...it..was...a...spider! Geesh. Freaked me out, I tell ya. It wouldn't have been so bad if the light was on...but because it just quietly slipped down onto my computer screen it was so freaky. Anyways...I didn't sleep for quite a while.

Also, as a quick side note...I'd like to thank all of you who faithfully or even randomly read my blog. I am happy to say that two months ago the views of my blog were a grand total of 67...however I bumped it up quite a notch these past two months and this month I am so proud and happy to say that I have never in the history of my blog gotten more blog views then this month. Currently I'm at 369 and it's not even the end of August yet! So thank you, thank you all! It is really truly encouraging to see my viewings go up and to know that something I'm saying is getting out there to someone in this big world! It's also encouraging to see how even people in different countries are visiting and reading stuff I'm posting!

Okay, onto the deeper subject of today. I am going to try and have something light and fluffy to start out my posts so I don't always appear quite so dark and sinister and serious all the time. The point of this blog is to edify and grow...that isn't always achieved by always being serious and dead focused. Sometimes you just have to loosen up and have a little fun...not always be deep and theological. Okay! Moving on...I'm going to try not to ramble so much in this post.

I have recently re-connected with a friend who I've known for a couple years now but we had a falling apart. Not like a disagreement or anything, but just a breaking apart where we didn't have much contact or anything for quite a few months. But anyways, we've connected and started talking again. It has reminded me how stuff online really doesn't convey emotion or how we mean to say stuff. He says stuff and it sounds like he's completely bored with me or the conversation, but he says he's not. I've also had this experience with Aimee...she doesn't use emoticons and so when she says stuff without a smiley face it makes me thing she is angry or upset with me...when I tell her that she just laughs at me! I've grown accustomed to people adding stuff like that to lighten up the texting mood.

So anyways, this friend and I got to talking about people in our lives who are there for us...like maybe that one person who we tell pretty much everything to. I said that everyone deserves to have at *least* person there for them...one person who they trust with their life...trust with every fiber of their being...trust with their darkest secrets...a person who knows them better than they know themselves. And he said he has no one like that...no one in his whole life. It just stunned me, but it reminded me of how closed up some people can get. I just finished a book (fiction) that had in it a dad who was trying to protect his daughter by doing everything for her. Ordering her life to be perfect because she could mess something up. I also just watched a movie where the mother was doing everything in her power, including bold-facedly lie to her daughter's face, just to keep her with her because if the daughter left then she could be hurt by the world and what life has to offer.

But that is just life. We want an easy life...a life with no pain or hurt. But that is really the true meaning of life...it's being hurt and finding out how to deal with that hurt. Who we are is decided by how we cope with pain. Pain and hurt is what really shapes and molds us...do we get up off the ground when we've been kicked down? Or do we lay there moaning and bewailing our great misfortune? Do we determine to try better next time and to be mature about it? Or do we blind ourselves and refuse to see the lesson that should be learned from that situation? Life isn't easy at all...it's hard and only the best can get to the end and say that they really lived.

Some people would define really living as doing stuff the "right way"...like having fun or traveling or always living in the moment...things like that. But I would say that living life the right way is learning to deal with the pain, letting it shape you into a more mature and grown person, and moving on to the next hurt. Now a lot of people would say that's a negative way to look at life. But that's a negative as saying that life is a game of people coming and going throughout our lives. Not many people stick around. Just think about it...you are born and you grow up...you have friends. Friends come and go pretty easily these days. One little tiff and they're gone faster then you can blink. People get married...people go to college. I've lost a handful of friends already to college...we have just lost contact because they got busy with college. I've known a couple people to get married...I don't really see them or talk to them because they're busy now too. My own sister has become a great deal like that...I have to officially let her go this November. After stuff like that it's just a matter of time...people have kids...kids grow up and leave. People die. People move. All sorts of stuff happen...but what I've told myself to ease the pain of people leaving is just that this is the truth: every person you meet will 97% not last till the end of your life. Not many people you know now will be there when you die. Not many people will keep in contact...not many people will have time. It is rare that you know someone from birth to death...or from teenage years till death. Just...accept the fact that people are going to come and go easily.

Now, is this a negative view? I would say no. It's just the honest truth with no flowery fluff to make it seem happy or cheery. It doesn't have to be gloomy or sad...because even if you lose people dear to you, there will always be someone else out there who can fill that space and be another person like that. Maybe not the exact same...but just as one person leaves another can come. So back to my first "negative" point. God places life lessons (or hurts) constantly in our path so that we have to face them head on. There is rarely a break from them. Once you've mastered one and picked yourself up and dusted yourself off and plastered a smile on there is another challenge...a harder one ahead. It's just life! And it's ok too. You're going to have a lot of moments of pain in your life...but you're gonna really grow from them. You're going to be molded and shaped...the harder the challenge, the better the reward. God never fails...He always rewards. And the greatest reward is yet to come.

So back to my very first original point of being open. Yes, you're going to be hurt. People aren't always nice (wow, pretty eye opening there, right? lol). Some people will hurt you....some people will break your trust. But just because it happens doesn't mean you can't pick yourself up again and not find someone else. Now, at this point you might call me insensitive...because a lot of people out there really have been badly burned and don't need to hear that kind of crap. But I'm just telling it like it is. Are you seriously going to live a life hidden away in a box forever just because someone was a retard and decided to hurt you? Maybe they didn't even decide to do it, maybe it was accidental. My point is...you can't hide yourself away from the world forever. You can't close yourself off because someone was a moron. If you let them win in that way, then you haven't learned anything from that pain. Them leaving you and hurting you like that was merely a lesson...a lesson to see if you could get over it...pick yourself up and learn to love and trust others.

And you can! It may be hard at first...but you can always do it. You can't just say, "Oh well, it failed once...I might as well not try again". Yes...it may fail once...it may fail ten times. You may just keep getting hurt...but that is no reason to never try again...no reason to give up. And if you're trying to be that one person of trust for someone...don't give up on them! It may take a long, long time...it may take years even! But always be there for them...someday they may see you for who you are: their person of trust for years. The one person they can tell anything to. The one person they can't go without thinking or talking to at least once a day. It may be a friend...it may even be a family member...but everyone deserves to have someone like that there for them always. If you've lost that one person, don't give up. There are literally billions of other people who are obviously better then that one person who left you. If they left you, then they didn't deserve *you*. You are better then that and you have no reason to hang your head and feel stupid or ashamed. You are a beautiful person and you deserve the very best.

Don't settle for less then the best! It is always so sad when people do that. You are a beautiful creation...God's own creation. He planned YOU specifically. He has a special plan for your life and the people in it. Don't throw all that away by doing stuff that is stupid or risky...don't do it by hiding yourself away and not opening yourself up to the world. You're going to be hurt...it's just inevitable. You're going to experience loss and grief and pain. But what can you do other then pick yourself up and move on...grow and learn from it all and decide to do better then that in the future. Settle for the best...nothing less then that. I can say from experience that when you are looking for people who will never leave or desert you, a good place to start is with your own family. They have been there with you...your whole childhood and life. They didn't have a choice then...but even after that....they just never leave you and they're always a part of you.

So anyways! Those are just some thoughts for today, I know I jumped all over the place and I hope you were able to keep up with all my random jumbles. I am hoping you all have a wonderful day out...the sun has finally peeked through the clouds and thanks to all the lovely rain it smells so delightful outside! I pray you may all enjoy some gorgeous sunshine and have a beautiful day. God bless you!