A very good read.
AM I WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?
During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author.
Here's the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..
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♥
It takes WORK! It takes DEVOTION! It takes DEDICATION! It's not just something that falls into a perfect fairy tale. It takes a lot of work...every day. There cannot be a day that comes by where we say "Oh, my marriage is all set...no more work needs to be added!". It is like the Christian life...something that needs to be added and worked on every day in order to become what it should be in the first place.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
And lastly...here is something from a church's bulletin this past week. Not my church, but one that I visited that I found this. My comments will be in the parentheses afterwards.
"True Love"
Luke 16:1-15 (Okay, I can *kinda* see maybe how this might relate? But...not really)
Love is the most important thing in this life (whoa, WHUT? I thought God was? What about glorifying God?), even though so much else tries to take away our attention (world items, I can see that, yes). How can we always choose love? (What is with the big push to love love love...nothing else...just love?)
Never let money or possessions take love's place
1) Lessons from a difficult parable
2) Money is used to be used for people, no using people for money (okay, I think I agree?)
3) Money will come to an end, true love will not (Define true love...is it a love based on God's love?)
Do the little things to show love (but don't forget some big things too)
1) Be faithful to continue to do the daily, little things of love and more love will come (Again, too big of an emphasis on always love love love..nothing but love matters: false)
2) Be faithful with the relationships you have and more relationships will come (Um...so the point is to always get more in this life? How about GIVE more?)
3) Handle worldly wealth well so that it can serve love (Serve love? How about charitable giving? Which...I suppose can be love...but it's more of a serving of our God and Father who commands it)
4) True riches = true love (I'm assuming they are not referring to money here. But really, it's not even true. God's love is the true love...not true riches. We can only achieve and obtain and give true love when we look to Him as our guideline.)
Give priority to love (Not priority to God and giving Him glory? Seems a bit selfish)
1) We have to choose love or money (I'm assuming they are referring to masters because you can actually live a life with money and love)
2) We will serve the one that we have chosen (Then let's choose God because I'd rather serve God than love, js)
3) We will put a lower priority on the other (Not truly...even if we pick money it is a love of money...so there is still love involved)
It is not about impressing others, but loving others from the heart (Jeremiah 17:9a says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.")
1) So much of what we do is to impress others rather than love others (Where do we learn to love?)
2) Our heart is known to God and others (Jeremiah 17:9b, "Who can understand it?")
3) Give our hearts to love (I'd actually prefer to give my heart to God, thanks)
Okay, I apologize. Maybe that wasn't too "loving" of me. Maybe I took a lot of that wrongly since it was just notes on the sermon as a whole...but what I'm seeing as I look at it is the emphasis on love...love...always love. Nothing about where we learn to Love...or from whom we learn *TRUE* love. This is all a self-focused idea of love. Down the road this will lead to all sorts of mistakes...bad short-term relationships that were never serious, bad marriages, divorce, torn friendships...you name it. But..that is a story for another time! I hope you enjoy your February the 14th focused on...well...don't even make it love. Make it God's love...and if you really want to make it a little more earthly...then God's love and how you can display that to others. The real truest love was shown to us many years ago and continues to be shown to us daily through the forgiveness of our sins.
Have a blessed day, my lovelies!
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