Don't Hate Me When I Speak With Passionate

We shouldn't have to be entertained by big sound or lights or simple words to be attracted to Christ. Why not regular sound, regular lights, and big educational words? I don't want it to be a youth group or band or worship songs that draw me to church. I want it to be only Christ. Make your only desire to be Christ alone. Sure, the other things aren't always bad...you won't find me cursing youth group or Bible verse memorizing or even the repetitious worship songs...but what is it that makes your heart happy for Sunday morning/evening? What is it that excites you most about the Lord's holy day? What motivates you to open your Bible? Is it your homework of memorizing Bible verses? Or a heart-felt passion to learn about your Father?

That's just a quick summery of what I've been thinking about today. Lately I've really felt a pull on my heart to fan a desire and passion to know God. In my prayer life I've found myself just asking for wisdom...asking for passion for Him...asking for a flame to burn that causes me to draw near Him more. I want that. I want to want Him. Right after thinking about this subject I "stumbled" across a picture online that said "You are as close to God as you want to be" Psalm 145:18...which I immediately looked up. This is what it said: The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth". 

How motivating is that to you? For me? That made me want to go pull out my Bible and just sit there pouring over it! I don't know about you...but I don't have that feeling a lot. And it tends to make me feel rather guilty. I would much rather sleep in a few hours in a cozy warm bed than get up and get started with my day with prayer and devotions! It's so much easier to do anything other than focusing on Him, praying, and all the other things that we, as Christians, are called to do regularly! Due to sin and our sin nature...it's so incredibly easy to just fore-go all the "Christian duties" that God calls us to keep steady about!

While I'm on this whole track I came across this other verse! Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." I want that! Don't you? Life is made up to be so hard...so many choices and decisions...so many bad choices gone oh so wrong because I had strayed from God. And we all have to live every day of our lives with those bad choices...for me? It hurts, but it drives me back to my choice to live coram deo (before the face of God). 

I want to know Him better...to always choose Him. To be focused entirely on Him and His will in my life. To live a life prayerfully. To glorify Him in every thought, word, action, or deed. I want to passionately desire Him. A life apart from God is no life at all...it's a hell. It's death and destruction and torment. 

So...as normally happens...I started on one subject and strayed far and wide from it. I do tend to ramble. I don't do drafts...I write it and I don't stop and I don't review or else nothing would ever be posted. Tis the life of a writer! I hope this made sense and in some way was able to connect with you. In my reading of other blogs I've found that they are able to really relate to me and my struggles as a Christian and teenage girl growing up as best as I can. So I want to do that for you, my reader! To be able to connect and relate personally with *you*. 

Blessings!