The Patience To Handle Life

Ah..so now another bad habit of mine. I really don't have any patience. And we are called to have patience alllll the time! But it's so incredibly hard! I've found out that it's especially hard when you are stressed or busy. Who doesn't snap at their siblings? Who doesn't sigh inwardly when their parents forget something (I do this all the time)? Who doesn't get angry when the computer freezes in the middle of something important? These are all just basic examples of patience lost in situations that are less than perfect.

However, we are called to be long-suffering and deal patiently with tough situations. I believe that is exactly *why* we have difficult things enter into our lives...just so that we are constantly being tested for character. One of my latest struggles is when I babysit my almost-5-year-old Hunter, who has autism. His symptoms are getting far worse and because of it I find him pretty much constantly doing things he shouldn't or that are wrong or unhelpful to the whole. It has really really been a huge challenge for me to quietly and calmly handle the situation with rationality instead of blowing off steam for no good reason when he can't help how he acts or what he does that can be so frustrating.

Another really big struggle for me is college. I want to get out and get my degree...get a nice job and move out and get started with my adult life. But as much as I really want to do that...it's hard. It's hard because I don't know whether I should just start college next year (or if I really can!) or if I should wait a year and work full-time somewhere here in town so that I have money for college. One of the hardest things for me will be leaving all my babies back here...some of these kids I've been watching since they were born...and to see them growing up and going off to school is SO hard...I don't know how the parents even do it. My Brandon is attending his first day of preschool today and boy...I never thought I would have to deal with something this hard...it's brought to mind that there will come a time when they're grown and I won't need to watch them...and soon enough I won't get to watch them at all because they're constantly in school for good. So that's another thing that is holding me back from leaving for college.

On the other hand though...I've waited so long for college...and I've wished to be in college for about 3 years now! I know, I'm only 17...but I feel like I've "put it off" for so long now and I just want to go jump on the ball and get my degree! So that is something I *definitely* need patience for!! Just being able to wait and say "God, you know best and you know exactly what I need and how long I need to wait...so give me patience and a calm heart to give all this over to YOU!"

That has been my struggle with patience...and we all have different struggles in life. I know plenty of my friends who are impatient to get married...plenty of guys I know who are impatient to get their career going. But it all just has to wait..."Be still and know that I am God"...that is one of my favorite verses in the whole Bible. It just speaks volumes while telling us not to speak at all - haha! But no, it just tells us to be able to trust that He has everything under control. No reason to freak out or be impatient for our future (or anything at all!) but rather to give it over to Him and calmly rest both literally and in our hearts for the timing of God. It has been and always will be absolutely perfect.