"Thanks Be To God! Thanks Be To God! Thanks Be To God For His Indescribable!"

You are not going to want to miss this post! I'm putting a lot of thought and work into this because...hey, it's Thanksgiving! So I guarantee that this post will be all over the place. But especially for Thanksgiving I love to cover all the bases...so I'll have a *short* list of what I'm oh so grateful for, Bible verses, a quote, a song, and notes from our Thanksgiving Eve sermon last night. I'll try to make it short...but, boy, I have really discovered that I LOVE Thanksgiving! It's such a happy holiday. It's such a remarkable day set aside to give THANKS! How often do we mindfully do that? So today's the day! I'm gonna go all out. I really have so much to be thankful for and yet I waste away my year...grumbling and complaining when things don't go right, when I miss my daily coffee or shower, when my breakfast gets burned, when I have an overload of school. So especially in this season I'm going to try and see whatever I grumble about and then see how others don't have it and then give thanks for it. 
This morning I got up...and let's just say there was a large over abundance of dishes. So naturally everyone is mumbling about how many dishes there are and how tiresome it is and how they hate holidays because it means loads of dishes. I remembered a little sign in Rachel's new apartment that she has. It says: I'm grateful for dishes because it means I have food." And it's so true. Hunger is such a serious problem in the world today....and when we grumble because our food is too salty, a little burned, or not exactly perfect to our standards...that is in essence un-thanking God for food and that huge blessing. We tend to overlook those "normal" blessings when to others...it's a rarity. 

• I'm thankful for loneliness because it means I've known love
• I'm thankful for dishes because it means I have food
• I'm thankful for dirty clothes because it means I have clothes
• I'm thankful for an overload of school because it means I have an education
• I'm thankful for too much work because I do have work when others have none
• I'm thankful for sickness because it reminds me of what good health I normally have
• I'm thankful for chores because it makes me responsible and accountable
• I'm thankful for fights because it's a chance to bring people closer afterwards
• I'm thankful for my sin nature because it drives me back to Christ
• I'm thankful for trials and suffering because it reminds me I'm Christ's child.

• I'm thankful for cats
• I'm thankful for kittens
• I'm thankful for felines
• Okay, okay! You get the point.
• I'm thankful for my really warm bed
• I'm thankful for money to spend
• I'm thankful for my new viola
• I'm thankful for internet and my laptop
• I'm thankful for my ever-forgiving parents
• I'm thankful for water
• I'm thankful for education and college
• I'm thankful for work
• I'm thankful for books
• I'm thankful for competitions
• I'm thankful for laughing, laughter, and inside jokes
• I'm thankful for my church, pastor, and covenant community family
• I'm thankful for my Grandma who always supports me
• I'm thankful for my Bible
• I'm thankful for all my faithful friends
• I'm thankful for chocolate, sugar, hot pretzels, and fruit snacks (not combined!)
• I'm thankful for shoes
• I'm thankful for holidays
• I'm thankful for salvation
• I'm thankful for heat
• I'm thankful for summer
• I'm thankful for vehicles that run
• I'm thankful for coffee
• I'm thankful for caffeine 
• I'm thankful for Biggby
• I'm thankful for Starbucks

I'm so incredibly blessed and I forget it so often! So I know I went on and on with that list...but I really could be here all day! Alright...I'll try to stay focused!

‎"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and 

creates a vision for tomorrow."

-- Melody Beattie

Now I'm going to try to merge really quick into a sub-category of Thanksgiving...and that is *giving*. We read this Scripture passage last night as we were having our offering plate passed around and it is just beautiful!

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor, their righteousness endures forever.” Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!" 2 Corinthians 6-15

And also this passage!

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I didn't take very many notes during the sermon last night...I was multi-tasking so it was difficult but I took *notes*. I'll try to make them into understandable sentences but I'm sure you'll get the general jist of it. 

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving should be the easy rhythm of life to us as Christians.

We do not deserve anything.

Everything in life is a reason to thank God.

We are to especially thank God for the gospel of Christ.

Who would we thank if we didn't have God? Ourselves. How selfish is that?

We should be thankful to have someone to give thanks to.

We are to be praise warriors! (I like that one)

Thankful prayers should be a very daily thing.

God is not just a vending machine in the sky.

Stop asking. Give thanks.

Show forth God to others through thanks and praise.

With gratitude can come evangelism as people look at our gratitude and say, "I want that".

Make His deeds known among the peoples through gratitude.

A good work ethic is natural among those who are grateful for work.

Thanks to God for My Redeemer (Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift! 2 Cor. 9:15)

Thanks to God for my Redeemer,

Thanks for all Thous dost provide!

Thanks for times now but a memory,

Thanks for Jesus by my side!

Thanks for pleasant, balmy springtime, 

Thanks for dark and dreary fall!

Thanks for tears by now forgotten,

Thanks for peace within my soul!

Thanks for prayers that Thou hast answered,

Thanks for what Thou dost deny!

Thanks for storms that I have weathered, 

Thanks for all Thou dost supply!

Thanks for pain and thanks for pleasure,

Thanks for comfort in despair!

Thanks for grace that none can measure,

Thanks for love beyond compare!

Thanks for roses by the wayside, 

Thanks for thorns their stems contain!

Thanks for home and thanks for fireside,

Thanks for hope, that sweet refrain!

Thanks for joy and thanks for sorrow,

Thanks for heavenly peace with Thee!

Thanks for hope in the tomorrow,

Thanks through all eternity! 

Amen

I pray your Thanksgiving is incredibly blessed and you find your heart full and your soul at peace! Give thanks to God for everything for it is from His hand and He causes it all to be for your BEST. <3

A Wedding-Kind-Of-Week

Hey faithful readers!

I realize it's been a little bit since I've posted something on here. Let me just say...wedding plans are SO much bigger then anyone ever realized. You have truly no idea what goes into a wedding until you are intimately involved in one and so is everyone else in your house! This is the "show week"...the crunch time...the "I've got to run to Lansing for a whole day of errands...AGAIN" type of week. It's the "I forgot all about that!" and the "Oh, I don't know how to fix that" and the "I wonder where that went off to" type of week. It's the "I've got to live on coffee alone because I don't have time to sit and make a meal for myself" type of week. It's crazy! But...oh so fun.

This morning Rachel and I headed over to the church and that was the first time I'd gotten to see it. Walking in...picturing it all bright and decorated...imagining walking down the isle on the best man's arm...standing up there and looking out over all the people...well, it was breathtaking. But we were there for business. Jonathan Potter met up with us and we tested the mic we're going to use for the reception hall. After that we got to meet up with Libby (yay, she's home for Thankgiving!) and hang out with her for a bit...show her all the little and big things for the wedding. So much fun.

Now we're supposed to be running errands all over Charlotte and Lansing...getting last minute things...picking up things...and other random things. So much to do...so little time! I'm so exciting and happy for her and I'm not even going to think about her being gone till she's gone. It's so amazing...this moment and this day that we've all been waiting for since...so long ago! I remember back in early May when I knew he was going to propose...and now...we've come so far and planned SO much! So much time, money, and effort has been poured into this and I know it's going to turn out to be the most amazing day ever.

It's so hard to describe at the same time. Walking into the church this morning brought it all so close to me. I mean, this is going to happen!! It is! This thing that we've waited, planned, dreamed of, and everything else...it's really going to happen! It'll be here and then gone so fast. It's a bit like our HPA show weeks...we work so hard for months and then we cram the last week and then it's done and gone and we're left feeling empty. We've nothing to set our minds to! Well..then comes Christmas and then finishing school and then open houses and then college and craziness galore!

But all in due time. For now...for now our minds breath and eat and live off this wedding. Every conversation is centered around this wedding. Every moment is focused in clarity on this wedding. Gotta love weddings!

Consistency and Trustworthiness

Right now my heart and head are spinning...they feel a bit like they got hit by a blender and the lid happened to be off so it went all over the place. I'm just...overwhelmed. I'm doing it on purpose a lot. Basically...today was really rough. It was a day where I got up on time and had coffee and a good attitude and I had planned for a really great day. Not so hot though. It ended up being a day where literally everything went down the toilet. Ugh. I can honestly say there was nothing good that came of today other than the fact that I realized it was a rotten day and tried to change my attitude and not bring other down with me...although they did admit themselves that their days had been the same way.

But something I did think about today is this: "I'm fine" and more importantly "It's fine" are two of the biggest lies of today. I had an instance where a person made me...excessively late to an extremely important audition. This isn't the first time either. It's not something they had ever intended. But this person has a tendency to be running all over the place and be rather late...often.

I'm NOT saying we should always be on time! I'm not saying we should be perfect. I'm not saying that we have to be right every second of every moment of our lives. I'm simply saying...consistency is important. As Christians we are bound to try and glorify God first and foremost and we can't do that if we are consistently breaking our word. We ought to rather seek to be our best to keep our word...not perfectly...no one can truly do that. But we must *try*. Try hard. We must gain a reputation...a reputation for good.

We must be that friend at 3 am in the morning who is willing to just be there without asking why. We must be the person who stops in the 15 degree weather when there's a blizzard out to help the car that is stuck even though all we want is to go home and take a nice hot shower. We must be that shining light in a world that so desperately needs it. We must be people of our word. We must be trusted above all other people. We must give them no reason to disregard the name of Christ.

How can we attract others to the name of Christ when we find ourselves *consistently* and on a regular basis letting other down. Not following through. Not holding up our end of the bargain. How is that attractive? When I meet those people I tend to be encouraged to be anything *but* that! That's not how Christians ought to be! The name of Christ has become so dirtied and lowered to mean barely anything at all. There are the select few still though that you find occasionally that just shine forth Christ! How many Christians do you know who do that? Who really truly LIVE Christ out daily? You can always tell Christ lives in them and they just shout it with everything they do!

That's what we should look at and desire above all else. That should be our prayer! That Christ is seen within us and people see it and say/think "I want that!". Christ should be desire...not only by us...but by those who watch us and look on in wonder as Christians shine and flourish richly. So let us be consistent and honest. Trustworthy and loyal. Always shining Christ.

Ode To Friendship...Or Lack Thereof

We've been friends for how long now?
Been quite some time.
Maybe not from birth or childhood,
But a few years have passed now.

We've been through our share of trials, yes,
Plenty of ups and downs.
Our ups were so high and our downs so low,
But after all, who's isn't?

We had a rough go, not even a year ago.
There were not many words.
We didn't talk for months on end.
And when we did it was short and cold.

Now you're back, maybe back to stay?
With you I never know.
One day you're here, the next gone
Why can't you just make up your mind?

It's hard not to be angry and bitter.
It's harder to stay.
I've tried to prove that I'll be true
Tried to undo the wrongs of the past.

Tried to prove that I've changed
Changed inside now.
I'm wholly different, new, and clean
I know I'm forgiven for my past.

You know how to cut me deep
Make it hurt bad
It's like a knife that you twist
Deeper and deeper on purpose.

Do I love too much? Care too much?
Sensitive too much?
Do you try to make me tough?
Maybe make me stand up taller?

But really? Must you try so hard?
I've tried my best.
What is a good friend for?
If not to be there when you cry.

You went and listed friends to me
Your best friends
And yet my name wasn't on that list
Somehow I didn't make the final cut.

The cut of your best and truest friends
Ones you could trust.
How could it be? That I have stayed
To end up being quietly dismissed.

Do you even see me as a friend?
A loyal companion?
You haven't stooped to recognized me
Or seemed proud that you know me.

It's like I'm invisible to your friends
Or like I don't exist
Because those closest and dearest to you
Haven't ever heard you speak my name.

So here's to me maybe moving on
To bigger better things?
Or perhaps I'll still stick around
Am I a glutton for punishment?

Maybe I'm the true friend here
Sticking around
If you still want it, I'm here
Just make an effort to talk to me.

Whenever we talk, please speak words
Lots and lots!
Make me feel like you want us.
Show me that friends still are loyal.

I can't promise I'll be here forever.
People do move on.
Taken for granted isn't friendship
And watch, someday, I might be gone.

Priorities And Time-Management

My latest pet peeve with myself is priorities...and focus. I've been very unfocused and easily distracted by things...like my computer...and the Internet...and music...and so many other things. Next fall, Lord willing, I'll be going off to college and along with part-time school I'll be working as well. As excited as I am for that, I'm also a little nervous. Things distract me so easily! Something comes up and I think, "Hey, I'll only do this for a few minutes and then I'll do school." Well...it's not as easy as it sounds, huh? I'm sure I'm not the only one either! When was the last time any of us actually did all our work before getting our free time and fun stuff done?

One thing that has been helping me though is the thought that my time is not my own. It's not really my time. It's the time of those who depend on me. It's my mum's time...my family's time...my bosses' time...and especially God's time. I'm wasting other people's time by wasting my time. I'm holding others up. There is a lot I could get done for others if I get my work and school done early or even on time.

When I went down to Bob Jones University I asked my roommates what was (and is!) the hardest thing about being at college. What was the biggest challenge and adjustment? They both agreed that it was time-managing. The distraction of goofing off or playing around or getting online as opposed to studying or working or cleaning or something productive! Now...I'm not saying there's nothing productive online to do. But all in good moderation. Time managing is so hard, right?

So what are some steps to go about it? First of all...you need to decide to stick to it. Sure it can be great to start...hard yes...but even harder to stick to it as I know myself full well! So focus on the task at hand...decide to make a difference and then make sure to review often to make sure you're still on track! Second...get up early...or relatively early. For me this falls about 8am. That's WAY early enough for me. If you couldn't tell I am really not a morning person.

If you're going to get up earlier this means you have to get to bed earlier too! I am a night person...for sure. I can be up till 4am and think nothing of it because I'm comfortable at that hour! I also used to watch a lot of tv at night so that would be a big reason to keep myself up. But I make sure to try and get to bed before midnight now! But the thought that in the morning I will be as dead as...well any dead thing...that tends to sober me up because I remember what it feels like to feel awful!

So onto another things to help....get rid of distractions! If this means hiding music, computers, fun books whatever it is...get it out of sight. Maybe have somebody to keep you accountable hold onto your stuff until you have it all done. Out of sight isn't always out of mind...but it will certainly help you not to just "check something real quick". Make sure it's no where you can see or else your mind will keep straying to it.

Give yourself rewards! When I get a few math lessons done then I'll play solitaire game. I know that sound pretty dumb...but it's a quick fun thing. I only allow myself one quick game or else I'll sit there for hours on my computer doing anything and everything! Maybe get up and take a quick walk...the fresh air to your brain will help motivate and focus your brain. Or even treat yourself! After a good amount of work then eat or drink something special as a treat. It's a good boast and motivator to get done faster and get more done!

Make lists! Make sure you know exactly what you have to do and how much. Be specific if you want...it does help! This way something doesn't get forgotten or pushed to another day or time. You know exactly what needs to be accomplished. Then make another list of fun things you get to do afterwards...you can get on Pinterest! You can update your blog! You can go hang out with friends at the mall or watch your tv show...whatever it is that you want to do! That way you have a whole bunch of things to do after your work and you know exactly what you're looking forward to!

For college I know I need to be focused and very centered on how I spend every moment of my time. It has to be used well. Time-management will determine if college is really overwhelming or easier for you to grasp a hold of. Some people have said that college really isn't hard...it's a breeze! Those are the people who go and know how to prioritize and focus on the important tasks at hand. So I'm getting a head start on that and trying to do it now so that by the time college really does roll around I'm prepared!

So there is a short list of ways to be more focused and better with time-managing! I can't promise amazing or immediate results...these work for me but maybe not for you! If you have anything that works for you let me know in a comment! I'd love for more ideas and I may even post them as a continuing post for this one! Let me know how it works if you decide to try it!

Don't Hate Me When I Speak With Passionate

We shouldn't have to be entertained by big sound or lights or simple words to be attracted to Christ. Why not regular sound, regular lights, and big educational words? I don't want it to be a youth group or band or worship songs that draw me to church. I want it to be only Christ. Make your only desire to be Christ alone. Sure, the other things aren't always bad...you won't find me cursing youth group or Bible verse memorizing or even the repetitious worship songs...but what is it that makes your heart happy for Sunday morning/evening? What is it that excites you most about the Lord's holy day? What motivates you to open your Bible? Is it your homework of memorizing Bible verses? Or a heart-felt passion to learn about your Father?

That's just a quick summery of what I've been thinking about today. Lately I've really felt a pull on my heart to fan a desire and passion to know God. In my prayer life I've found myself just asking for wisdom...asking for passion for Him...asking for a flame to burn that causes me to draw near Him more. I want that. I want to want Him. Right after thinking about this subject I "stumbled" across a picture online that said "You are as close to God as you want to be" Psalm 145:18...which I immediately looked up. This is what it said: The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth". 

How motivating is that to you? For me? That made me want to go pull out my Bible and just sit there pouring over it! I don't know about you...but I don't have that feeling a lot. And it tends to make me feel rather guilty. I would much rather sleep in a few hours in a cozy warm bed than get up and get started with my day with prayer and devotions! It's so much easier to do anything other than focusing on Him, praying, and all the other things that we, as Christians, are called to do regularly! Due to sin and our sin nature...it's so incredibly easy to just fore-go all the "Christian duties" that God calls us to keep steady about!

While I'm on this whole track I came across this other verse! Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." I want that! Don't you? Life is made up to be so hard...so many choices and decisions...so many bad choices gone oh so wrong because I had strayed from God. And we all have to live every day of our lives with those bad choices...for me? It hurts, but it drives me back to my choice to live coram deo (before the face of God). 

I want to know Him better...to always choose Him. To be focused entirely on Him and His will in my life. To live a life prayerfully. To glorify Him in every thought, word, action, or deed. I want to passionately desire Him. A life apart from God is no life at all...it's a hell. It's death and destruction and torment. 

So...as normally happens...I started on one subject and strayed far and wide from it. I do tend to ramble. I don't do drafts...I write it and I don't stop and I don't review or else nothing would ever be posted. Tis the life of a writer! I hope this made sense and in some way was able to connect with you. In my reading of other blogs I've found that they are able to really relate to me and my struggles as a Christian and teenage girl growing up as best as I can. So I want to do that for you, my reader! To be able to connect and relate personally with *you*. 

Blessings!

Since Thanksgiving Draws Near...

Now Thank We All Our God

Now thank we all our God

With heart and hands and voices,

Who wondrous things has done,

In whom His world rejoices;

Who, from our mothers' arms,

Has blessed us on our way

With countless gifts of love,

And still is ours today,

O may this bounteous God

Through all our life be near us, 

With ever joyful hearts

And blessed peace to cheer us,

And keep us in His grace,

And guide us when perplexed,

And free us from all ills

In this world and the next.

All praise and thanks to God

The Father now be given

The Son, and Him who reigns

With them in highest heaven,

The one eternal God,

Whom earth and heaven adore;

For thus it was, is now,

And shall be evermore.

When Morning Guilds The Sky

When Morning Guilds The Sky

When morning guilds the sky

My heart awakening cries

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Alike at work and prayer

To Jesus I repair;

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Does sadness fill my mind?

A solace here I find,

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Or fades my earth bless?

My comfort still is this

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Ye nations of mankind,

In this your concord find,

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Let all the earth around

Ring joyous with the sound,

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Be this, while life is mine,

My canticle divine,

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Be this the eternal song,

Through all the ages long,

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Amen

More Quotes

"But you know, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light."

You do not come to truth by counting noses. Majority does not make right. Neither does might. 

"This is what the Lord says: 'Let not wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,' declares the Lord." Jeremiah 9:23-24

Quotes On Marriage, Love, and Family

"Loving Each Other: this is both the husband's (Colossians 3:19) and the wife's duty (Titus 2:4). Love is the great reason and comfort of marriage. This love is not merely romance, but genuine and constant affection and care for each other "fervently with a pure heart" (1 Peter 1:22). Marital love cannot be base on beauty or wealth, for these are passing, and not even on piety, for that may decay. It must be based upon Gods command which never changes. The marriage vow obligates "for better or for worse," and married persons ought to consider their own spouses the best in the world for them. Marital love must be durable, lasting even after death has severed the bond (Proverbs 31:12). This true-hearted love brings true content and comfort in its train. It guards against adultery and jealousy. It prevent or lessens family trouble. Without it, the marriage is like a bone out of joint. There is pain until it is restored." Richard Steele

"There is no society more near, more entire, more needful, more kindly, more delightful, more comfortable, more constant, more continual, than the society of man and wife, the main root, source, and original of all other society." Thomas Gataker 

Quotes

"Our rule of life is the commandment of the Lord, not the doubtful conclusions which may be drawn from providences" Charles Spurgeon

"I deny not but you have cause to inquire what His providence speaketh in this to you, but that God's directing and commanding will can by no good logic be concluded from events of providence." Samuel Rutherford 


Just some thoughts to ponder and mull over!

Just Me

This isn't a happy post. It's not uplifting or encouraging. It's not filled with sunshine and smiles. It's just me. This blog is about honesty...about being completely open and it isn't right to only post the good things. There is always bad. The people who are bright and bubbly every day of their life aren't realistic. It isn't possible. There is darkness...it will be overcome and we are being tested like I said in my last post...but there is darkness when our deepest souls are covered with black.

I care too much. I love too much. I need too much. I want too much. I remember a time when I was the butterfly flitting from flower to flower. I was the girl with a billion friends. I was the life of the party. I was known by pretty much everyone. Talked about. Thought about. I got around and made lots of friends. I knew everyone and everyone knew me. I was the popular girl. Then people grew up...I grew up. People changed.

Now...this is not to say that I don't have friends. Plenty of people write to me occasionally...try to keep in touch. But there is no one friend there. No friend who I can confide with everything. No friend who I know every deepest detail of. No one there when I need them the most and I won't worry about bothering them. Ties have been cut...covered with dust...ignored. Not sure what to call it...but so many people have just wandered off. Facebook is a big place to watch friendships. It sounds stupid...an online network is a way to see people's love. But it's true.

You see how desperate people are to proclaim love for one another. You see how often they stay in contact. You see how often they chat them...hang out with them...pray for them...love them. Too often I see this and then look at my wall as empty. So often I just get online to feel like someone is hanging on to me...but then leave feeling lonelier than before. Often this drives me to Christ and especially my Bible. I must say that the Psalms are particularly comforting.  But as someone once told me...people need people. So I pray for people. I pray for at least one person to hold on and desperately need me as a friend.

Christ fills me...He fills my empty space. So in prayer I go and ask to be filled...if not by the people here then by Him. Pray that He would content me and leave me feeling like I have the Best Friend ever. The one I can go to and receive the best advice or sympathy or love. Never to leave. Never to forsake. Never to criticize. Always to build up. Always to love. Always gentle. Always understanding. I mean...He knows you *best*. He knows you better than your parents or best friend ever will. Isn't that amazing? Weird too. But it's only right.

So...I hope this post made some kind of sense. Maybe it was more selfish on my part...a bit of clearing the air and getting things out. But it did encourage me. I pray it did the same for you in some small way. Maybe you can relate...maybe you're going through this as well. If so...please message me. I'd love to pray for you and lift you up in love.

In Christ.

Problems and Our Best

"A problem is your chance to do your best."

-- Duke Ellington

I found this quote this morning and it really encouraged me. It just reminded me that in troubles or trials or sufferings of any kind it's not really a problem...it's a test. A test and an opportunity to be able to perform our best under pressure. It's always a test...a promise that maybe we can be stronger than the time before! 

I'm sorry I haven't been posting more...between wedding plans, music auditions of all kinds, school work, ACT prep, college applications, and work...well...you get the point. Prayers would be very appreciated...last night was an eye-opening realization that Rachel is going to be gone in 2 weeks...and nothing will ever be the same. Really weird and kinda hard at the same time. Have a lovely weekend!

Quote

“God will show you an answer. But you have to understand that sometimes it takes a while to be able to recognize what God wants you to do. That's how it often is. God's voice is usually nothing more than a whisper, and you have to listen very carefully to hear it. But other times, in those rarest of moments, the answer is obvious and rings as loud as a church bell.” 
― Nicholas Sparks

Cute Song Lyrics

fireflies and songs

by sarah grover

thirty years ago I was a little girl

riding in the back seat of the car

a woman sang you don't bring me flowers anymore

I felt a sadness in my little heart

we're looking for the music 

in the music box

tearing it to pieces

trying to find a song

I was drawn to you in ways I can't explain

we fought like crazy but I couldn't stay away

piled on expectations and lots of blame 

like we couldn't do it any other way

we're looking for a firefly 

moving through the night

staring at the one place

swear it never lights

were you surprised our hearts were not like ticking clocks

with faces and hands easy to read

we both wished if only in the land of oz

longed for things we'd never really need

now we're standing in the kitchen

all pretense is gone

you kiss me on the shoulder

fireflies and song

My Prayer For Myself

Praying for strength

Praying for wisdom

Praying for guidance

Praying for patience

Praying for love

Praying for devotion

Praying for focus

Praying for trust

Praying for acceptance

Praying for loyalty

Praying for joy

Praying for peace

Praying for gratitude

Praying for contentedness

Praying for discipline

Praying for endurance

Praying for judgment

Praying for mercy

Praying for grace

Praying for growth

Praying for identity

Praying for character

Praying for obedience

Praying for faith

Praying for purity

Praying for rebirth

Praying for reformation

Praying for renewal

Praying for transformation

Praying for honesty

Praying for respect

Praying for self-control

Praying for humility

Praying for courage

Praying for dependability

Praying for responsibility

Praying for generosity

Praying for holiness

Praying for confidence

Praying for encouragement

Praying for compassion

Praying for initiative

Praying for diligence

Praying for thoughtfulness

Praying for efficiency

Praying for discretion

Praying for optimism

Praying for reverence

Praying for serenity

Praying for commitment

Praying for conviction

Praying for deference

Praying for zeal

Praying for passion

Praying for integrity

Praying for justice

Praying for security

Praying for prudence

Praying for selflessness

Praying for thoroughness

Praying for tactfulness

Praying for understanding

Praying for support

Praying for perseverance

Fear, True Friends, Honesty, and Needs

What is man's greatest fear? What is the thing that can chill us...usually sub-consciously? What is a struggle especially apart from God? For the answer to these I had to dig deep...and even then it was right in front of my face. Fear of rejection. Fear of being alone. Fear of being ignored. Fear of being unloved. We all want to be wanted...we all want to be needed....we want to be loved and accepted and part of the world. It haunts us at every turn. I've been especially plagued by this lately...the gnawing fear of being alone and lonely...rejected by all who know me. Why are we so desperate to fit in? To appear cool and popular? Because then we won't be cast aside and rejected. 

Like I said, this has been a very recent fear. And boy, does Satan know how to use it against me. I'm going through a stage lately where my mind is constantly filled with thoughts like, "Wow, look at them...they didn't stop and say hi when you came in..they must not like you." "So and so wasn't fully focused when you told her about your day...maybe she's faking being a true friend." This came into reality when I was talking to a person I considered one of my very best friends...he mentioned how he had five best, closest, and true friends. I felt so warm and happy inside...feeling confident he would count me on the list...I've known him for 2-3 years now and we've been through a lot but come out strong (in my opinion). Needless to say he even listed the five good friends and ...I didn't make the cut. It kind of took me back a moment...just how strange people can be. We are fickle. We are fake. We lie. We appear so different then what we really are. Isn't it amazing to wake up one day and just be faced with the fear that the people you count closest and dearest to us can wake up one day too and realize that they don't even like us? 

I'm not exactly sure where I was going with all of this...but just...inner thoughts are so destructive. Every time someone is upset or distant or quiet or out of the normal I blame myself...I'm sure I said something rude or insensitive and it's my fault that they're that way and on and on it goes...I blame myself for anything and everything...I make up whole scenarios about how everything is my own fault. In some cases, it probably is...I am a rather guilty person...chief among sinners and wrong-doers...but everything can't possibly be my fault, right? Right? I feel a bit lonely just writing this because it's not face to face with someone and I can't get feedback. 

One thing I've come to see is that lying is just as easy as breathing. As easy and as effortless. It takes no real thought to just spit out a lie. And sometimes we don't even feel guilty for it. But how about living a lie? Living pretending to love people? Living and being a person with characters that aren't really yours? How easy is that? Maybe what I'm getting at through all this is this: be honest. Be honest with those around you. For best friends....tell them you love them and they mean the world to you. For your other friends...don't try and make them believe that they're your best friend but then not even include them on your "true friends' list". It's a cruel trick of the world and it cut deep to me to hear that I wasn't thought of as a true and good friend. I took a step back and wondered how many people count me on their "true and best friends' list". We all hope we are on someones list...but are we? Scary thought. 

I'm pretty messed up...I've made more mistakes than any average person. I'm pretty screwed up mentally and emotionally. I'm a disaster waiting to happen. You say something nice to me and I might just break down crying from relief. This happened a bit ago...one of my good friends was chatting with me and I said "If I'm being a bother...tell me and honest to goodness I'll leave...just say the word and don't pretend to want to talk to me just to make me feel better if you really don't want to talk to me". He was genuinely shocked why I would say that and was quick to assure me that he really did want to talk to me. I just started bawling right away. 

We as humans desperately need love...God created Eve to keep Adam company...for her to accept and love him. For the two of them to love and care for and accept the other...in true honesty. Alone we are a disaster. Alone we fall apart. Alone we cannot do much at all. 

One thing I would say from all of this is just...be honest. Speak truth. Don't lie to make someone feel good. If faced with the situation for brutal honesty or sweet lies I would pick the first over and over. The truth always comes out and when it does...it hurts if it's been covered with lies and gentleness. Now...this is not saying go out and be brutally honest. You can be sensitive...but for goodness sakes don't try and cover it up! The first person I mentioned had pretended to be close to me and be a good friend of mine...but out in public? I was a no one. I watch as people interact with other people...as they talk and act with their friends. If someone is a best friend then they will be PROUD of you. They will *love* you so so much. They will be entirely comfortable with you. They will be shouting with their actions, "This is my friend and I love them so much! See? They are my bestie!".

So who is there for you? Who shouts that with their actions? Who is proud of you? Who loves you unconditionally? You can guess where I'm going with this...yes, I'm making a spiritual reference here. But yes, I'm staying a bit material too. Look at your friends...who is there for you? Who loves you? Who has stayed through everything? Who is really truly honest with you? Who is proud of calling you their friend? Don't stay with "friends" who are fake and pretend to be a good friend when they can't even count you on THEIR true friend list. You do NOT deserve that...unless of course you do that as well...in which case I'd say you really do deserve it. 

One thing that has really been impressed upon me is the fact that my Father is so incredibly proud of me. He is! He encourages me in such things that glorify Him. When I walked out of my solo at Bob Jones University I felt glowing and alive. This was because I felt His pleasure with me! I knew He was happy for me and that He approved. His approval was all I needed to feel alive! I felt this cozy fire inside of me and fully filled because I knew He was smiling at me. He is proud of me! I mess up...like I said, I'm pretty messed up as an individual...but because of Him? Because of Him I am rebuilt...remade...remodeled. Sarah Bacon 2.0. I am nothing like that old person. I don't need a "true friend's list". I have the best and truest Friend I could ever want. He wouldn't lie to me about anything. He wouldn't fake anything. He wouldn't hide anything. And He loves me and accepts me as His and is so proud of me. 

Another point through all this is to take a look at not only your friends...but your LIFE. We are called to a life of holiness and godliness. Do our lives reflect that? Do they shout that? What do they shout? How do we spend our time? Is it focused on friends, being accepted, being loved, being wanted/needed, and other things like this? Are you consumed with the desire to have good friends? In some cases this can be good...but in other cases it can become an obsession. Friends are a lovely thing, I will *not* debate that...but one Friend is so much more important. If you are ever needy for something the worst thing is to be needy about it. I've found the hard way that when you feel you absolutely need something you won't get it. It's once you let go...get properly focused...and learn to be filled with Him that He will grant whatever you thought you previously "needed". He knows exactly what you need and what you want. So I can't be filled with the "need" to have friends...to be the coolest or most popular or most sought after girl in the room. That ISN'T what is important in life! 

Philippians 4:11 "Not that I speak according to need, for I have learned to be content in whatever state I am."
Hebrews 13:5b "..and be content with such things as you have, for He has said, "Not at all will I leave you, not at all will I forsake you, never!"

So...how IS your life focused? Where is your focus point on which everything else circles? Honestly. Where do you find your truest friends? What is it that you truly need in life? Do you make sure to keep that/those true needs a priority in life? Are you honest with those around you in how you function with them?

I don't know about you, but after this I'm going to make sure those I love and count as dearest to me know that I feel that way...in general, I tend to be a person who doesn't verbally or physically show people that I love them. I've had friends coming to me concerned about if our friendship was okay when there was nothing in my mind wrong. I want those who love me to know that I love them so much in return...that I accept them...that I am so proud of them and am even more proud to call them my friends. My encouragement to you is to do the same! They will appreciate it more then you could ever imagine. They might just end up crying from gratitude ;) 

Find peace in Him!

Poem Ideas Please

Hey..so I'm trying to get back into more poem-writing! I try not to make my poems too personal because I don't really like sharing "parts of me" so publicly like that...so I'm looking for any suggestions on what I should write! It could be something you're going through..have gone through...or anything just random! Merci!

Move Mountains

"When a person becomes crystal clear as to exactly what they

want to accomplish, and focuses their time and energy on this

one goal, any person can move mountains."

-- Jimmy Sweeney

I know what I want to accomplish. I know what I want to do in life. I want to live a Godly life that is entirely focused upon God...His glory to shine through...His praises to be sung...His name to be preached. My life has become focused and my energy poured into making this goal possible. We, as Christians, should be so utterly focused on this that life should be this powerful and meaningful. And with Christ, we *can* move mountains. My prayer for you right now is that you too have this goal set upon your life...you have God's seal of promise stamped upon your heart...your main goal in life is to glorify God and to bring Him all the praise and glory that you possibly can. Go move your mountains!

Blessings.

Yes...I Love Quotes

I don't have a lot of time nowadays to be typing out a lot of super educational things, but I still love sharing things...and I come across quotes all the time so here's another one!

"Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your

past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your

hard work isn't what you get for it, but what you become for

it. Shake things up today! Be You... Be Free... Share."

-- Steve Maraboli