The Contrasts between a Dog's Diary and a Cat's Diary

Thought this was cute, so I stole it from Christian's blog!


Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00am -Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30am -A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40am -A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am -Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm -Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00pm -Played in the yard! My favorite thing!3:00pm -Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00pm -Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00pm -Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00pm -Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00pm -Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps
me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the
floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I
am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the
noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."
I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow,
but at the top of the stairs.


I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be more than
willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe
him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.......

For now...